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Arrgh Ye Prepared for the Pirate Invasion?

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Illustration by Andy Au

Shiver me timbers! All of these pirated products are driving me to the end of me plank!

Walking through New York City a few days ago, I couldn’t help but notice the amount of designer handbags for sale on the street. Why would anyone go into a boutique store and pay 15 times the price when they could just get the “same” product from the head-to-toe denim-wearing, shady-looking, amateur salesman with the white Reeboks selling Coach handbags on the street corner from the milk carton above his ratty blanket?

The products look the same, feel the same, and hold the same amount of crap. It seems like X marks the spot, until you realize that this bandit has hornswoggled you into a threadbare burlap sack. This unethical entrepreneur is not a hard-working Joe trying to feed his family— he is a pirate. The days of parrots on the shoulder, eye patches and rum bottles are gone. The world of modern day piracy has invaded our homeland, our technology and our industry. Counterfeit consoles, racks and fixtures have infiltrated our business harder than Blackbeard in the Caribbean.

‡‡         Paying the Price

In order to better protect entertainment landlubbers against the tyranny of piracy, I decided to sit down with (Captain) Ryan Kanarek, software support manager at ACT Lighting, Inc. We had a long talk about what we can do to keep the hordes of greedy marauders and their bootlegged products off of our shores.

Q: Why are counterfeit consoles bad for business?

Kanarek responded by saying, “Put simply, consoles are how manufacturers pay for research, development and support.” The first step towards defeating the army of raiders is figuring out how they are tainting our riches. Without being able to charge clients for the hardware, they are unable to develop the software. Kanarek continued by saying, “Almost all manufacturers offer a free offline version of their software for anyone to use — that means the manufacturer isn’t making any money off the software. Instead, all of a manufacturer’s income is coming from the sales of the physical hardware.” This allows us, as end users, to try out the software long before we have to plunk down fifty gold doubloons for the vessel.

“That income doesn’t go to just lining pockets, rather, it pays for the developers who come up with the software you interact with. It pays for the engineers who design and build the hardware you use. It pays for the support teams you rely on for training and troubleshooting,” Kanarek said. We have clearly discovered the fire in the hole here. If we can’t get the gold to the engineers, the pirates will gladly take it off our hands and disappear into the night. “Using fake consoles means less money for all of that, which results in bug-riddled software on failing hardware that no one can support,” said Kanarek.

Q: How do pirates bootleg technology to make counterfeit consoles?

Kanarek responded, “Most manufacturers offer the software for free. As for the hardware, it’s not like customers have to go through a background check to buy a lighting console. Basically anyone can buy one. People can reverse engineer some things from there,” We can’t keep the technology locked up in a treasure chest like the days of past. The technology has to be available to the end user. This requires manufacturers to allow their software to sail free on the tide of the internet. The software is susceptible to pirate attack while in open waters.

Q: How can we determine if a console is counterfeit?

Kanarek said, “This one can be a little more difficult — especially if you’re not in front of real hardware very often. Real hardware will have logos and other markings embedded into the hardware and software. The knockoffs will often have a lot of that stuff removed. Generally, if you’re in doubt — contact your local distributor or the manufacturer.”

This happened to me recently, I had a console that had different logos than I was used to. I called up the local distributor and it turned out that someone had replaced a bad video card in a pinch. I was able to give them the serial number, and they confirmed that it was a genuine console. Better safe than sunk, I say.

I enjoy my Captain Morgan and Coke, but when the Salty Dog Tavern is unable to acquire the genuine grog, they offer me Sailor Jerry and Pepsi. Some people can’t tell the difference, but I can. I will order ale instead. I’d rather avoid the situation altogether than have the knockoff version and be disappointed by the quality. The same applies to my consoles. I want the genuine article, because I know the team of people behind the real console won’t let me hang out to dry.

Q: Is there a preferred way of addressing the problem of counterfeit consoles?

I wondered what I could have done if the distributor had told me that I had a fake console. I didn’t know. I knew that I couldn’t tolerate being anchored down at the helm with a bogus deck. I figured it best to ask Kanarek how to protect myself from future phonies. For starters, Kanarek responded with a “pretty obvious” recommendation: “Don’t buy them.” That made me feel like a scallywag for asking, but he continued by saying, “Of course, most people rent rather than buying, or just have to work with whatever is provided onsite. One way to help is to put into your riders that all consoles and accessories must be genuine,” and not obvious knockoffs. “And then, if you show up onsite and the local company wants you to use a fake console, stick to your principles and say no. Make sure that everyone on the production knows that it’s a knockoff and that they shouldn’t use that rental / production company. If production companies lose business because they own fake consoles, they’ll stop buying them.” In other words, if they can’t give you the proper tools to do your job, give ‘em the old heave ho.

Q: How can we report a counterfeit console?

By banding together and keeping a lookout, we can send these pirates down to Davy Jones’ Locker. Kanarek concluded our conversation by saying, “First and most importantly, contact your local distributor or the manufacturer. And second, make sure your colleagues are aware if there’s someone trying to push fakes on customers.”

I would like to add to Kanareks’ statement. Be sure to have the software version and serial number available when calling your local distributor. Also, be ready to blast your findings out of the cannon of social media.

‡‡         Fool’s Gold

Do not be afraid of warning industry members when you come across fool’s gold. Even if you are unwilling to say who the pirates are, please tell your distributor where the pirates are. You will be protecting yourself, your shipmates and your flag.

Chris Lose is a touring lighting director who wants to be a pirate for Halloween, but not in real life.